My first encounter with comics was in the old library near my house. They had a bin full of them. It was love at first sight--mostly because they had my beloved Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in comic form. I was all of 8. These comics were darker then the TV show, and they had women and lizards and mad science.
My mom hated them. She never let me check them out--though looking back I can't really blame her; the TMNT comics were dark, and they swore. A lot. I suspect she also didn't see the point in me checking them out. Comics, she told me, weren't for girls. And besides, these certainly weren't for someone my age.
I still read them, I just had to do it there while she was helping my younger brothers pick out their books. I won't say I was hooked yet, not really. I just liked the Ninja Turtles.
Forward several years. I've moved. I'm in middle school and more and more comics are cartoon shows. My favorite television show is X-Men, followed by Spider-Man. My favorite videotape is the old Plastic Man from the late 70's. I'm still not reading comics, but I know a lot about the characters and the stories. The Adventures of Batman and Superman are starting to instill a deep love for those characters as well.
My guy friends are big into comics, and I know enough about them to join in the conversations. I'm not reading the comics--not for girls, after all--and by this time I can tell. I am starting to get body-shy and the half-naked women on the front racks at my local shop made me vaguely uncomfortable. The local shop is also a porn shop. My mom didn't like us going in there. My local library doesn't carry that sort of thing, and I believe them that comics are a lesser form.
I still love the characters though.
High School. I need a job and one of my best friends says that his store needs more workers, desparately. He works at the local comics shop. Yes, the one that also sells porn. See, this is the year that Pokemon took the states by storm. The comic shop is being over run by soccer moms trying to buy Pokemon for thier 6 yr olds. The comic shop's employees--stereotypes all--need some fresh faces, need some people who can assure the new customer base that the shop isn't creepy. That a comic shop that sells porn and sports paraphanalia and role-playing games is their kind of shop too. And I know comics, sort of. I know Pokemon--I'm just starting to discover this...Japanese Anime. I know enough sci-fi and fantasy nerds that I'm not weirded out by the staff.
I'm hired on the spot when I come in to drop off my application.
I re-discover comics. I fall in love with Marvel, and decide that I'm probably not a DC girl--even though I love Batman. I start collecting The "What If" series that Marvel put out to make their writers giggle. I decide that my managers habit of collecting comics with weddings in them is hilarious, and start collecting comics with the "L'il X-Men," exactly what they sound like. Yes, those comics are funny.
They come up more then you'd think.
I love comics. I love the absurd stories, the strange costumes. I imagine myself into the worlds and I want to have super powers.
But these books are still not for me. I just enjoy them. They dont realy have beginnings or middles of ends, they keep going, eternally until it all falls apart, everything meaningless, even death and victory. I prefer my books to have some pretense of meaning something. And I'm still in a comic shop that sells porn--which I'm not supposed to even touch because I'm only 15. Which I find stupid--because the drawn women are not wearing much, and the statues are blatently sexual. Immersed in comics at this time, I can see the sexism. I may not be working with the porn, but I do see some of it. These comics are often the same thing, poses, costumes, all. They are fantasies for the male part of our species. I don't have many women that I really admire--partly because even the ones that I love are not written as consistantly and as well as the boys.
A year later. Still working at the comic shop. I'm still into comics, but I'm more firmly an anime fan. I go to CA for a 5 week course on shakespere and improvisational acting. I'm on my own for the first time in my life. In between classes, I'm bored and lonely and I'm exploring the area. I find a comic shop.
It's just a comic shop. More then that--it carries more then the Big 2 and some indie comics. It carries...manga. Comics from Japan. Comics that aren't costumed superheroes, comics with women as the main characters. New stories, linear stories. Full stories with beginnings and middles and ends. Novels. The regular stuff is there too, but I start to experiment. I discover some new favorites.
College. New comic shop. Manga has not yet come to the midwest in any volume. I request my favorite series gets ordered. Jimmy, the owner, agrees--after all, most comic shops would like more women customers, and I said that women liked these (in a few years he will tell me that manga outsells everything in his shop, and he's doubled his custmer base because women come in and buy things). I ask him for some recommendations. I'm pretty solidly into the indie comics, and I told him I don't collect monthlies--I prefer trade paperbacks.
He asks me if I've read Sandman. Or Bone.
New worlds open up. Comics-as-genre dies. Comics-as-medium to tell stories is born. Comics become capable of literature, of moving me. I savored each volume I bought, and drew out the anticipation to 1 book per semester--until the end, where I had to buy the last three in quick sucession, unable to wait any longer. I cried at the end. I sat on the hard, tiled, cold floor of my dorm room and read the entire 2000 page brick of Bone, unconcerned about the class I'd be asleep through, oblivious to the pain in my back.
Now. I care deeply about comics. I still love my superheroes, but I'm constantly looking for new stories. I try to keep up with what's happening in Marvel and DC, but mostly I stick to the comics that gain critical notoriety. I still don't read monthlies. My new local comic shop is one of the best in the nation, they proudly display their Eisner Award and keep proving how much they deserve it. I write comics. I feel that some of the best peices of literature I've read to date, the stuff that's made me think and changed my outlook on the world the most has been told through a medium that most people assume is "just for kids," or "just for boys." The major studios are not doing a whole lot to change these views.
Still, though, I really want to have super powers.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Braaaiiins....
I have fond memories of zombies.
Zombies are a sort of bonding/sorting agent for me. If I am in a room full of strangers, and I start talking about zombies--the ones who perk up and join in are people I know. The ones who have thought about and seriously considered what to do in case of zombie attack are my people.
On top of that, they are inherently funny. Between the shambling walk and the groan and the occasional "braaains" zombies, as a general topic makes me laugh.
Zombies are a ridiculous, terrifying threat. I think many of us identify as "geek" or "nerd" like these sort of terrifying, yet ultimately absurd threats of annihilation--they are just relevant enough to make us feel like were actually accomplishing something, but ultimatly we can treat it like a game. We like games.
Zombies occupy the same space that the hypothetical city-sized sundae falling from the sky does.
This sentence probably confuses you. I once spent a very enjoyable afternoon debating what, exactly, would happen if a sundae, the size of the city fell from the sky. What changed if there were nuts, how to deal with the molten chocolate sauce, and the fact that if a bowl was included, we were all fucked. The nuts would be the size of cars, and the ice-cream would freeze you if it didn't crush you. the cherry, once you ate your way inside would be a good place to wait out the melt--as the center would be hollow.
This is the space zombies occupy.
Hypothetical situations and passing time and conversation games. My friends group has a Plan. We even have a website devoted to zombie survival (http://ww2.zombieinitiative.org/). We postulate about how long the power will last, and whether or not the zombie virus can survive a Minnesota winter. I have argued passionately against the idea that it is a virus--and have decided that the zombie infection is prion related--partly because of the extreme changes that the body and mind go through to become a zombie, and partly based on how difficult it is to kill off a prion disease (extremely).
We sincerely hope that the hypothetical zombie apocalypse is not an airborne infection--as that would kill off everybody. We have a 5 and 10 year plan in case of Zombies.
We know this is ridiculous.
We just like the idea of a completely absurd threat, that we can in fact do something about.
Zombies are a sort of bonding/sorting agent for me. If I am in a room full of strangers, and I start talking about zombies--the ones who perk up and join in are people I know. The ones who have thought about and seriously considered what to do in case of zombie attack are my people.
On top of that, they are inherently funny. Between the shambling walk and the groan and the occasional "braaains" zombies, as a general topic makes me laugh.
Zombies are a ridiculous, terrifying threat. I think many of us identify as "geek" or "nerd" like these sort of terrifying, yet ultimately absurd threats of annihilation--they are just relevant enough to make us feel like were actually accomplishing something, but ultimatly we can treat it like a game. We like games.
Zombies occupy the same space that the hypothetical city-sized sundae falling from the sky does.
This sentence probably confuses you. I once spent a very enjoyable afternoon debating what, exactly, would happen if a sundae, the size of the city fell from the sky. What changed if there were nuts, how to deal with the molten chocolate sauce, and the fact that if a bowl was included, we were all fucked. The nuts would be the size of cars, and the ice-cream would freeze you if it didn't crush you. the cherry, once you ate your way inside would be a good place to wait out the melt--as the center would be hollow.
This is the space zombies occupy.
Hypothetical situations and passing time and conversation games. My friends group has a Plan. We even have a website devoted to zombie survival (http://ww2.zombieinitiative.org/). We postulate about how long the power will last, and whether or not the zombie virus can survive a Minnesota winter. I have argued passionately against the idea that it is a virus--and have decided that the zombie infection is prion related--partly because of the extreme changes that the body and mind go through to become a zombie, and partly based on how difficult it is to kill off a prion disease (extremely).
We sincerely hope that the hypothetical zombie apocalypse is not an airborne infection--as that would kill off everybody. We have a 5 and 10 year plan in case of Zombies.
We know this is ridiculous.
We just like the idea of a completely absurd threat, that we can in fact do something about.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Attack of the Anthropic Principle!
I’m gonna just come out and say it—the Anthropic Principle is stupid. Really, really stupid.
The idea that the universe only has meaning if we (humans) are there to observe it is…just…stupid. There really is no better word for it—except maybe arrogant, but I think that doesn’t give the necessary implication of being, first and foremost, really, really, really stupid. If humans weren’t around, the universe would still be there. It would still function; it would still be full of strange and awesome (biblical awesome, not surfer awesome) things. Stars would burn, black holes would form, gravity and physics would still work. There would still be life in bizarre places.
We don’t have to understand the world or observe it for it to exist. That idea is just stupid. It’s the kind of thinking that makes people think that God must be great to put ears on our head in exactly the right place for glasses to sit on.
Go on. Think about that for a moment.
The world doesn’t care if it is observed or not. The universe does not need humans. I will repeat this—the universe does not need mankind. We humans just like to feel special. We want to be important. So we make shit up like the anthropic principle.
I don’t believe in fate or destiny. I look at Teri and I know how unlikely it is that we both existed and that we both met, and I know that if this hadn’t happened, then something else would have—and the universe would still not care, and ultimately, would be completely unchanged.
It’s like anything in the natural world. If you don’t believe in it…so what? That doesn’t stop anything. Everybody in the world could concentrate on disbelieving in the idea of the sun being a big ball of gas and plasma. The Sun would still be there. People can think whatever they damn well want about the universe—it doesn’t mean they are right.
Evolution doesn’t stop because morons can’t understand basic biology. The sun has never been a hawk-headed god in a boat, or a shining dude in a chariot. The moon is a big round rock—it’s never been cheese, or a woman, or a magical artifact. People’s beliefs just don’t matter all that much. Life started without us, and when we extinct ourselves, or the world changes and we go extinct—the world will still circle the Sun until the Sun turns into a red giant in 5 billion years. There will even still be life after us, even if we nuke ourselves to glass—for one thing, it’d be really difficult to make the critters at the bottom of the deepest parts of the ocean go extinct.
We aren’t that important. The universe doesn’t have to mean anything—it’s the universe. It just exists. It’s awesome that it exists. It gets to have meaning just by existing, as it is the background for everything. We are not important. There aren’t even that many of us. When we go, the universe won’t even notice.
I don’t, by-the-by, think of this as a depressing concept. I think of this as extremely uplifting and gives my own life meaning—I get to see just how awesome and vast and mysterious the universe is—and know that there is more to learn—more I can learn. I get to discover stuff, learn things I didn’t know, and when mankind goes the way everything does—the universe will still be there. Will still be awesome, will still be full of new stuff, and will still be stranger than fiction.
I guess what I’m getting at is that, maybe the Anthropic Principle should read as this: Humans are stupid and arrogant, so for things to have meaning to them, they have to see it. And even then, they will make up stupid shit about it and ignore the actual miracles in favor of the ones in their heads.
But maybe I’m just cynical.
The idea that the universe only has meaning if we (humans) are there to observe it is…just…stupid. There really is no better word for it—except maybe arrogant, but I think that doesn’t give the necessary implication of being, first and foremost, really, really, really stupid. If humans weren’t around, the universe would still be there. It would still function; it would still be full of strange and awesome (biblical awesome, not surfer awesome) things. Stars would burn, black holes would form, gravity and physics would still work. There would still be life in bizarre places.
We don’t have to understand the world or observe it for it to exist. That idea is just stupid. It’s the kind of thinking that makes people think that God must be great to put ears on our head in exactly the right place for glasses to sit on.
Go on. Think about that for a moment.
The world doesn’t care if it is observed or not. The universe does not need humans. I will repeat this—the universe does not need mankind. We humans just like to feel special. We want to be important. So we make shit up like the anthropic principle.
I don’t believe in fate or destiny. I look at Teri and I know how unlikely it is that we both existed and that we both met, and I know that if this hadn’t happened, then something else would have—and the universe would still not care, and ultimately, would be completely unchanged.
It’s like anything in the natural world. If you don’t believe in it…so what? That doesn’t stop anything. Everybody in the world could concentrate on disbelieving in the idea of the sun being a big ball of gas and plasma. The Sun would still be there. People can think whatever they damn well want about the universe—it doesn’t mean they are right.
Evolution doesn’t stop because morons can’t understand basic biology. The sun has never been a hawk-headed god in a boat, or a shining dude in a chariot. The moon is a big round rock—it’s never been cheese, or a woman, or a magical artifact. People’s beliefs just don’t matter all that much. Life started without us, and when we extinct ourselves, or the world changes and we go extinct—the world will still circle the Sun until the Sun turns into a red giant in 5 billion years. There will even still be life after us, even if we nuke ourselves to glass—for one thing, it’d be really difficult to make the critters at the bottom of the deepest parts of the ocean go extinct.
We aren’t that important. The universe doesn’t have to mean anything—it’s the universe. It just exists. It’s awesome that it exists. It gets to have meaning just by existing, as it is the background for everything. We are not important. There aren’t even that many of us. When we go, the universe won’t even notice.
I don’t, by-the-by, think of this as a depressing concept. I think of this as extremely uplifting and gives my own life meaning—I get to see just how awesome and vast and mysterious the universe is—and know that there is more to learn—more I can learn. I get to discover stuff, learn things I didn’t know, and when mankind goes the way everything does—the universe will still be there. Will still be awesome, will still be full of new stuff, and will still be stranger than fiction.
I guess what I’m getting at is that, maybe the Anthropic Principle should read as this: Humans are stupid and arrogant, so for things to have meaning to them, they have to see it. And even then, they will make up stupid shit about it and ignore the actual miracles in favor of the ones in their heads.
But maybe I’m just cynical.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
WebQuest
Ok, so…I’ll admit—of all the apocalypses, nuclear war is the least interesting to me. It’s…preventable. It involves heroic, over-muscled dudes and bad-ass-but-sexy women fighting to save the world. It’s preventable.
It may say something about me that I only get interested in the apocalypses we can’t do anything about. The surprise ones. Those are the more interesting stories, those produce the feeling of being trapped and helplessness that really make me sit up and pay attention.
No, I don’t really get it either.
So. First Link:
http://nuclearholocaust.blogspot.com/
….er…I’m not sure exactly what this blog is…blogging about. It appears to be…music links? Death Metal/Thrash Metal.
Yeah. Let’s try something else.
First Link #2
Ahh…this looks promising.
Nuclear Holocaust 2010? 2011? 2012? - Steelmark Online Forum
http://www.websitetoolbox.com/tool/post/steelmark/vpost?id=1601429
3 posts - 3 authors - Last post: Jan 28, 2008
“Satchi,in answer to your fear of nuclear holocaust,NO CHANCE. Certain circumstances are in place,have no fear,it wont come to anything, ...” [sic]
I love crazy forums.
…damn. There appears to be no more end-of-of-the-world posts.
…aaaand…no links. Damn.
Ok, Next Link!
Clueless About Nuclear Holocaust - Council on Foreign Relations
www.cfr.org/publication/4607/clueless_about_nuclear_holocaust.html - 25k -
ahh, religion and nuclear weapons.
“On Buddha's birthday in 1998, there was national jubilation when India conducted nuclear tests. Hindu extremists suggested that the radioactive desert sands in which the tests had been conducted be distributed across the nation.”
I…really have nothing to add to that. That’s awesome. Man, religious crazies in the US would be SO much more fun if we got the Hindu gods, myth cycle, and magic.
Anyway, the rest of the article is talking about how the Hindi people are so simple and naïve they don’t realize what a danger nuclear weapons are. This is evidenced by the fact that they really wanna blow up Pakistan, and think that the US (after India launches nukes at Pakistan mind you) will disarm Pakistan. ‘Cause the US hates Pakistan as much as India does, of course. Wow. Just…wow. Racism is fun folks!
But…following the linky, the linky, the liiinkyyy…
India, Pakistan, Arms Control and Disarmament
http://www.cfr.org/issue/52/arms_control_and_disarmament.html
hmm…we have a choice between Iran and North Korea.
Oh. Going with the crazy dictator ANYTIME over the current events.
Awww…that was boring. Just talking about Hillary Clinton’s visit to S. Korea, where they are (understandably) worried that North Koreas crazy dictator will blow them to kingdom come.
Bah. This site is boring. Onward to a different site.
Rick Astley Survived the Wasteland
When Rick said he'd never let you down, Not even Nuclear Holocaust/Raiders/Slavers/Mutated Insects could stop him. Thanks to...
www.wegame.com/watch/Rick_Astley_Survived_the_Bombs/ - 78k –
Hahaha. There are a significant number of Rick Astley hits from nuclear war-related searches. I’ve just been rickrolled. I don’t know why. This link was Rick Astley as a Fallout 3 guy, dancing in the middle of nuclear winter.
Okay. Next!
U.S. Drafts 'Day After' Plan for Nuclear Holocaust
www.secretsofsurvival.com/survival/day_after_nuclear_holocaust.html - 31k -
Hokay: oooh. Blinding colors? Check. American flag with “The Bible” superimposed over it? Check. Crazy Conspiracy? Double Check. Ahhhh…this is more like it.
Hmm…this article is a little old. Lets look for a more recent one—
Hahahahahahaahhahahaha
“If USA Falls to 'Nuclear Jihad', Escape to Canadian / Alaska Wilderness –
Here are three places to cross into Canada / flee for Alaska if Islamic Holy War is finally unleashed on America”
That is one hell of an awesome headline.
What are these places?
Well….they don’t really say. But here’s a bit of where they kinda talk about it…
“If you fall short of God's demands for Holiness, and you're 'left behind', where will you go?
If you live up north, will you escape to Canada and head in the direction of Alaska (depending on your present location)?
Oh yeah, and since terrorists will no doubt be waiting for such measures, we're not talking about escaping the country by road or car.
We're talking about journeying through the wilderness via hiking trails, railroad tracks, and forest service roads.”
Racism, check, check and check. Links to World News Daily, check!. WND articles talking about the “Messianic madness of nuclear Osama”
Oh man. Wow.
Ohoh! For us Minnesotans!
“Central United States Escape Route to Canadian Wilderness
Height of Land Portage: If you live in Minnesota, you likely know of this place. If not, then here's the skinny.
The Height of Land Portage is a portage along the Boundary Waters route between Canada and the United States (portage refers to the practice of carrying a boat or other water vehicle over land to avoid an obstacle in the water). Specifically, the Height of Land Portage can be found along the boundary between Minnesota and Canada.”
“…the Height of Land Portage provides relatively easy thoroughfare and has everything you need- water, wilderness shelter, various food sources, and isolation- to survive if the country were to become under attack (better dress for the cold, though). Further, invading forces are not likely to want to end up there as they will find no people.
Unless enough people read this article, that is.”
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. No fear of that, my friends. No fear of that.
And…then they talk about grizzlies being a problem.
Ok, so we’ve got Racism, conspiracies, Religious Rants about the “end times”, scary Russians, and the fear of Bears. All wrapped up in an awesome nuclear sandwich. Yup. I’m done. My work here is finished.
It may say something about me that I only get interested in the apocalypses we can’t do anything about. The surprise ones. Those are the more interesting stories, those produce the feeling of being trapped and helplessness that really make me sit up and pay attention.
No, I don’t really get it either.
So. First Link:
http://nuclearholocaust.blogspot.com/
….er…I’m not sure exactly what this blog is…blogging about. It appears to be…music links? Death Metal/Thrash Metal.
Yeah. Let’s try something else.
First Link #2
Ahh…this looks promising.
Nuclear Holocaust 2010? 2011? 2012? - Steelmark Online Forum
http://www.websitetoolbox.com/tool/post/steelmark/vpost?id=1601429
3 posts - 3 authors - Last post: Jan 28, 2008
“Satchi,in answer to your fear of nuclear holocaust,NO CHANCE. Certain circumstances are in place,have no fear,it wont come to anything, ...” [sic]
I love crazy forums.
…damn. There appears to be no more end-of-of-the-world posts.
…aaaand…no links. Damn.
Ok, Next Link!
Clueless About Nuclear Holocaust - Council on Foreign Relations
www.cfr.org/publication/4607/clueless_about_nuclear_holocaust.html - 25k -
ahh, religion and nuclear weapons.
“On Buddha's birthday in 1998, there was national jubilation when India conducted nuclear tests. Hindu extremists suggested that the radioactive desert sands in which the tests had been conducted be distributed across the nation.”
I…really have nothing to add to that. That’s awesome. Man, religious crazies in the US would be SO much more fun if we got the Hindu gods, myth cycle, and magic.
Anyway, the rest of the article is talking about how the Hindi people are so simple and naïve they don’t realize what a danger nuclear weapons are. This is evidenced by the fact that they really wanna blow up Pakistan, and think that the US (after India launches nukes at Pakistan mind you) will disarm Pakistan. ‘Cause the US hates Pakistan as much as India does, of course. Wow. Just…wow. Racism is fun folks!
But…following the linky, the linky, the liiinkyyy…
India, Pakistan, Arms Control and Disarmament
http://www.cfr.org/issue/52/arms_control_and_disarmament.html
hmm…we have a choice between Iran and North Korea.
Oh. Going with the crazy dictator ANYTIME over the current events.
Awww…that was boring. Just talking about Hillary Clinton’s visit to S. Korea, where they are (understandably) worried that North Koreas crazy dictator will blow them to kingdom come.
Bah. This site is boring. Onward to a different site.
Rick Astley Survived the Wasteland
When Rick said he'd never let you down, Not even Nuclear Holocaust/Raiders/Slavers/Mutated Insects could stop him. Thanks to...
www.wegame.com/watch/Rick_Astley_Survived_the_Bombs/ - 78k –
Hahaha. There are a significant number of Rick Astley hits from nuclear war-related searches. I’ve just been rickrolled. I don’t know why. This link was Rick Astley as a Fallout 3 guy, dancing in the middle of nuclear winter.
Okay. Next!
U.S. Drafts 'Day After' Plan for Nuclear Holocaust
www.secretsofsurvival.com/survival/day_after_nuclear_holocaust.html - 31k -
Hokay: oooh. Blinding colors? Check. American flag with “The Bible” superimposed over it? Check. Crazy Conspiracy? Double Check. Ahhhh…this is more like it.
Hmm…this article is a little old. Lets look for a more recent one—
Hahahahahahaahhahahaha
“If USA Falls to 'Nuclear Jihad', Escape to Canadian / Alaska Wilderness –
Here are three places to cross into Canada / flee for Alaska if Islamic Holy War is finally unleashed on America”
That is one hell of an awesome headline.
What are these places?
Well….they don’t really say. But here’s a bit of where they kinda talk about it…
“If you fall short of God's demands for Holiness, and you're 'left behind', where will you go?
If you live up north, will you escape to Canada and head in the direction of Alaska (depending on your present location)?
Oh yeah, and since terrorists will no doubt be waiting for such measures, we're not talking about escaping the country by road or car.
We're talking about journeying through the wilderness via hiking trails, railroad tracks, and forest service roads.”
Racism, check, check and check. Links to World News Daily, check!. WND articles talking about the “Messianic madness of nuclear Osama”
Oh man. Wow.
Ohoh! For us Minnesotans!
“Central United States Escape Route to Canadian Wilderness
Height of Land Portage: If you live in Minnesota, you likely know of this place. If not, then here's the skinny.
The Height of Land Portage is a portage along the Boundary Waters route between Canada and the United States (portage refers to the practice of carrying a boat or other water vehicle over land to avoid an obstacle in the water). Specifically, the Height of Land Portage can be found along the boundary between Minnesota and Canada.”
“…the Height of Land Portage provides relatively easy thoroughfare and has everything you need- water, wilderness shelter, various food sources, and isolation- to survive if the country were to become under attack (better dress for the cold, though). Further, invading forces are not likely to want to end up there as they will find no people.
Unless enough people read this article, that is.”
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. No fear of that, my friends. No fear of that.
And…then they talk about grizzlies being a problem.
Ok, so we’ve got Racism, conspiracies, Religious Rants about the “end times”, scary Russians, and the fear of Bears. All wrapped up in an awesome nuclear sandwich. Yup. I’m done. My work here is finished.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Ok--this bit is semi-related to my online comic, which will be (re!)starting up march 3rd. You can find the comic at godseeker.comicgenesis.com
It's part of that...ah...long story The God of Fire mentions.
Godseeker is not about the end of the world, however. it's just about gods.
______________________________________________
The old man stood on the mountainside at sunset. He had had a dream the night before and had roused his village and told them to follow him. He raised his arms and told them that his dream had shown him the end of the world. His booming voice crackled with authority and passion. He began…
“This is how the world ends:”
“Fire and quaking and billows of smoke. It has been foretold by the resurrected God of Fire as he stood over a valley. “
“Hear now, People—The world was begun by the Three, and the world will end by Their divine will.”
“Er”…a voice said in the prophet’s mind. The Prophet ignored the voice.
“In the Beginning, there was nothing—but the Three Elder Gods formed our world. Vain, beautiful Earth—“
“Earth? Earth is a great damn blacksmith and potter. She’s enormous. She’s not particularly beautiful…unless you like that sort of thing. And even then. She doesn't really care about human ideas of beauty.” The prophet ignored the voice again, raising his voice.
“Earth, the beautiful woman who was beloved of Sky—the great warrior, who rules over all.”
The prophet paused as the voice in his head started laughing uncontrollably. He glanced at his audience. They seemed to be confused by the pauses--and in anycase, clearly could not hear that annoying voice. He took a deep breath and continued.
“The great oceans were raised and populated by Sea, cold and mysterious and—“
“At least you got her right.” The voice seemed to settle a bit, and he got the feeling that the voice was joining the audience. This realization threw him and he momentarily forgot what he was doing; and that he had an audience of real, actual people.
“…Right. Myserious and...cold...Ah. Well. Where was I?”
“The beginning”
The old man was overcome by a feeling of pure embarrassment—theatrics only work if you’ve got confidence in them. He dropped his arms in irritation and tried to hide the blush he could feel spreading over his naken chest. He was afriad he sounded peevish and old.
“Yes. So, the Three worked Their will upon the world and created the plants and all the animals, and then they felt that the world needed creatures to adore and worship the world and the Gods that had made it. So, the Three brought together Their powers and created Man—and They watched over their greatest creation with joy.”
“You’re talking too fast—I can’t understand the story!”
The prophet paused. Nobody had spoken that out loud—it was the…he growled and wished he had someone to glare at.
“…right. I’ll be good. Go on. I like stories.”
The old man sucked on his teeth for a second, and nodded. The impudent, invisible voice seemed to have agreed to let him continue without interruption. He shook himself and modulated his voice back into story-telling mode.
“Man flourished, and roamed over the earth and became it's master and it's caretaker—But it cannot last!”
“In time, Mankind will forget the Three and started worshipping other Gods. They will start deforming the very earth and stripping the soil and raizing the trees. Man will forget his duty to adore our world and destroy it. He will pollute the perfect sky and defile the oceans.”
“The Three will be wrathful toward their greatest creation.”
“I wouldn’t go that far. Annoyed, Sure. Wrathful…Probably not. They don’t really—“
The prophet hissed, “Do you mind?”
“I’m just trying to help.”
“ANY-way. The Gods will shake the earth and send up fire and molten rock and the smoke will block out the sun.”
“The Gods will allow the world to die, and take mankind with it. They will punish us for our arrogance and—“
“See…there you go again. They just don’t care that much. They are just, um, artists. They are mostly just watching and seeing where their creations are going to go and what they will do next. You keep thinking they think like a human. They…ah. Don’t. I mean—sure; Humans will probably all die off—or at least a lot of you will all die off—when one of those calderas goes boom. That’s true enough. But it’s not malice or punishment. It’s…just how things work. Earth doesn’t care that much. She’s…uhm…a lot more practical then you give her credit for. It’s not like the whole planet will blow up—it’ll just kill off all the current life. Earth and Sea will just make more, and they’ll try something new. Hell, Sea’s got life that will survive the big boom, no problem. Sky will be the most upset—he really likes watching you all—“
The prophet paused. “Ok. Who are you?” He resolutely ignored the sudden bafflement and restlessness of his audiance. He concentrated on the unseen world. There was a slight rumble beneath him.
“Oh, heh. Sorry. I’m Kante. I used to be Earth’s Fire. Humans just called me Fire, though—but then I died…well, it’s a long story. I’m kinda more human now so I have a name—again, long story. I was nearby relieving some pressure in the earth’s surface and I heard you talking. You seem nice enough, so I wanted to make sure you got it right.”
“…you were in the area?”
“Oh. Yeah. I should tell you--the volcano is going to blow up any day now—you should probably leave. It’d be nice if you could warn the folks down in the valley, though. Hey!. I’m getting good at this caring about humans thing!”
The prophet felt Kante’s presence fade from his mind. He looked at his audience and back at the still mountain rearing up over his back. He looked at the confused faces of his people, and he sighed. He hoped that one of them would remember the words and not the confused bits, and he resolved to write the dream down. Maybe somebody else could tell it the way it should be told without the Gods coming in and messing things up. Maybe they would forget this embarassing little story never happened, and just remeber that he had gotten a visit from the Fire God--who warned him about a volcano.
If there was really going to be a volcano in this mountain in the next few days.
Part of him really, really hoped so. After all--then that is what his people will remeber.
He decided to just end it so they could get on with the process of leaving before they all died in this little apocalypse.
“Look—The Three Gods exist, ok? Don’t forget they exist, ok? Bad things will happen when people stop remembering that we have real Gods. Now. The God of Fire has just told me this volcano is going to blow up—so we should go tell everybody to leave this village.”
The prophet sighed and started toward the village. He looked back at the peaceful-seeming mountain and grinned quickly at his extremely surprised people.
“Call it…a warning.”
It's part of that...ah...long story The God of Fire mentions.
Godseeker is not about the end of the world, however. it's just about gods.
______________________________________________
The old man stood on the mountainside at sunset. He had had a dream the night before and had roused his village and told them to follow him. He raised his arms and told them that his dream had shown him the end of the world. His booming voice crackled with authority and passion. He began…
“This is how the world ends:”
“Fire and quaking and billows of smoke. It has been foretold by the resurrected God of Fire as he stood over a valley. “
“Hear now, People—The world was begun by the Three, and the world will end by Their divine will.”
“Er”…a voice said in the prophet’s mind. The Prophet ignored the voice.
“In the Beginning, there was nothing—but the Three Elder Gods formed our world. Vain, beautiful Earth—“
“Earth? Earth is a great damn blacksmith and potter. She’s enormous. She’s not particularly beautiful…unless you like that sort of thing. And even then. She doesn't really care about human ideas of beauty.” The prophet ignored the voice again, raising his voice.
“Earth, the beautiful woman who was beloved of Sky—the great warrior, who rules over all.”
The prophet paused as the voice in his head started laughing uncontrollably. He glanced at his audience. They seemed to be confused by the pauses--and in anycase, clearly could not hear that annoying voice. He took a deep breath and continued.
“The great oceans were raised and populated by Sea, cold and mysterious and—“
“At least you got her right.” The voice seemed to settle a bit, and he got the feeling that the voice was joining the audience. This realization threw him and he momentarily forgot what he was doing; and that he had an audience of real, actual people.
“…Right. Myserious and...cold...Ah. Well. Where was I?”
“The beginning”
The old man was overcome by a feeling of pure embarrassment—theatrics only work if you’ve got confidence in them. He dropped his arms in irritation and tried to hide the blush he could feel spreading over his naken chest. He was afriad he sounded peevish and old.
“Yes. So, the Three worked Their will upon the world and created the plants and all the animals, and then they felt that the world needed creatures to adore and worship the world and the Gods that had made it. So, the Three brought together Their powers and created Man—and They watched over their greatest creation with joy.”
“You’re talking too fast—I can’t understand the story!”
The prophet paused. Nobody had spoken that out loud—it was the…he growled and wished he had someone to glare at.
“…right. I’ll be good. Go on. I like stories.”
The old man sucked on his teeth for a second, and nodded. The impudent, invisible voice seemed to have agreed to let him continue without interruption. He shook himself and modulated his voice back into story-telling mode.
“Man flourished, and roamed over the earth and became it's master and it's caretaker—But it cannot last!”
“In time, Mankind will forget the Three and started worshipping other Gods. They will start deforming the very earth and stripping the soil and raizing the trees. Man will forget his duty to adore our world and destroy it. He will pollute the perfect sky and defile the oceans.”
“The Three will be wrathful toward their greatest creation.”
“I wouldn’t go that far. Annoyed, Sure. Wrathful…Probably not. They don’t really—“
The prophet hissed, “Do you mind?”
“I’m just trying to help.”
“ANY-way. The Gods will shake the earth and send up fire and molten rock and the smoke will block out the sun.”
“The Gods will allow the world to die, and take mankind with it. They will punish us for our arrogance and—“
“See…there you go again. They just don’t care that much. They are just, um, artists. They are mostly just watching and seeing where their creations are going to go and what they will do next. You keep thinking they think like a human. They…ah. Don’t. I mean—sure; Humans will probably all die off—or at least a lot of you will all die off—when one of those calderas goes boom. That’s true enough. But it’s not malice or punishment. It’s…just how things work. Earth doesn’t care that much. She’s…uhm…a lot more practical then you give her credit for. It’s not like the whole planet will blow up—it’ll just kill off all the current life. Earth and Sea will just make more, and they’ll try something new. Hell, Sea’s got life that will survive the big boom, no problem. Sky will be the most upset—he really likes watching you all—“
The prophet paused. “Ok. Who are you?” He resolutely ignored the sudden bafflement and restlessness of his audiance. He concentrated on the unseen world. There was a slight rumble beneath him.
“Oh, heh. Sorry. I’m Kante. I used to be Earth’s Fire. Humans just called me Fire, though—but then I died…well, it’s a long story. I’m kinda more human now so I have a name—again, long story. I was nearby relieving some pressure in the earth’s surface and I heard you talking. You seem nice enough, so I wanted to make sure you got it right.”
“…you were in the area?”
“Oh. Yeah. I should tell you--the volcano is going to blow up any day now—you should probably leave. It’d be nice if you could warn the folks down in the valley, though. Hey!. I’m getting good at this caring about humans thing!”
The prophet felt Kante’s presence fade from his mind. He looked at his audience and back at the still mountain rearing up over his back. He looked at the confused faces of his people, and he sighed. He hoped that one of them would remember the words and not the confused bits, and he resolved to write the dream down. Maybe somebody else could tell it the way it should be told without the Gods coming in and messing things up. Maybe they would forget this embarassing little story never happened, and just remeber that he had gotten a visit from the Fire God--who warned him about a volcano.
If there was really going to be a volcano in this mountain in the next few days.
Part of him really, really hoped so. After all--then that is what his people will remeber.
He decided to just end it so they could get on with the process of leaving before they all died in this little apocalypse.
“Look—The Three Gods exist, ok? Don’t forget they exist, ok? Bad things will happen when people stop remembering that we have real Gods. Now. The God of Fire has just told me this volcano is going to blow up—so we should go tell everybody to leave this village.”
The prophet sighed and started toward the village. He looked back at the peaceful-seeming mountain and grinned quickly at his extremely surprised people.
“Call it…a warning.”
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Apocalypse Class #1
"Let's talk about the pleasures (in a Schadenfreude kinda way) of imagining all the nonbelievers dead -- whether they don't believe the right stuff about God, or don't respect Mother Earth, or are complicit with the government, or simply haven't built a bunker in the woods (after you warned them)."
Ok, so here is where I jump right into a big ol' pond of internet bloggers and also put myself squarely in the midst of a major debate and possibly offend folks. I'm an atheist. I don't believe in God, god, gods, spirits, souls, reincarnation, or any kind of psychic powers. The Schadenfreude of religious beliefs (and I include anything that is taken purely on faith without the intervention of "reality" and "facts" to be religious) about the end of the world is....one of the most troubling and ultimately destructive forces inherent to religious beliefs.
This isnt saying that only religious beliefs cause this sort of pleasure in mass destruction--it's pretty much human nature. I'll wager that if global warming ends up destroying the planet--there will be a lot of scientists grimly saying "I told you so" and taking the little pleasure they can from it--but I AM saying that religion has this sort of mentality emphasized, enshrined and worshipped.
It's this idea that not only is it OK that when the end comes you will be safe and sound while the earth and all the poor schmoes that didn't get the message are dying in firey, painful, torturous doom--but that you'll be happy about it, and gleefully watching your fellows as they die horribly. More--watching your friends and neighbors die horribly is somehow moral...This is terrible. This idea, this schadenfreude...this is...arg. I can't even express the kind of fury and anger I feel when perfectly well meaning people tell me that this sort of inhumane behavior is more moral and more socially accepted then my personal philospohy.
This sort of subject comes up a lot with the published atheists--this schadenfreude about the end of the world, the idea that the end of the world is something to be looked forward to, worked for, and joyfully recived--and this belief is shared by people who have nuclear weapons...
Damn right, that's scary. And maybe it would serve the world right if people stopped being hypocrites and started acting according to their beliefs and...
heh...there I go. Human nature in reguards to other people; that gloating and smug feeling you get when you are "right." I'm no stranger to the grim sort of "I told you so" thinking that comes along with seeing people follow a path of destruction partying and waving and being accompanied by a big o'l brass band. that "I told you so" sort of thinking that comes after youve tried to wave your arms and get somebody's attention and point at the cliff the mass is heading toward--and being laughed at, been told that you are being immoral for pointing out the cliff. That the cliff has an awesome party on the bottom, if you can just get past the sharp rocks...
Oh yeah. I'll admit to sharing that sort of feeling. I also think it is a profoundly immoral (or at least amoral) thing to think.
This, I think is the difference between the really disturbing schadenfreude and the lesser sort of satisfaction that people feel when they are "right" or have "won" an argument. To paraphrase Jeff Foxworthy: if you think that you should feel joy when others are suffering you might be a really awful person. If you think you deserve to feel joy amidst death and destruction you might be a really awful person. If you think it's your right to feel joy watching people you love dying by torture you might be a really awful person.
If you think that feeling joy when people around you are dying in a fire is awful or you feel guilty if you feel relived and happy that "it wasn't you"...that's not so problematic. I'd call it natural, and I actually take it further--
here's where some of you will probably get irritated with me. I'll posit that if you are a healthy, sane person--you will feel guilty about surviving while watching the world burn. You might even feel guilty NOW because you believe that your friends, nieghbors, classmates and people who've never heard of your particular religion will all be punished in some way when the end times come.
I'll also take that a step further and say that for the true believers--this is where the anger, the fury and the hatred comes from for people who don't believe what they believe. They DO feel guilty--and guilt is a terrible, awful emotion. Those unbelivers who are going to die horribly are making them feel guilty about something they have every right to feel--some even belive that this bliss will be forced on them, making the guilt even more irritating and awful.
I can't even imagine believing that a) the world will end horribly, b) that my loved ones will die because they didn't hear my message strong enough, because I wasnt good enough to "save" them, c) and that my God will ensure that I will enjoy watching them burn.
...I think I just talked myself into pitying some street preachers and a particularly evangelical family member. That chain of events sounds horrible. Like...something out of a nightmare. Seriously, no wonder people get mad at non-believers. They've got to think, at some level, that we will be subjecting them to that sort of hell--except that they obviously don't think it will be hell--which I personally feel might actually be worse--sort of an ultimate erasure of the self, since so much of ones identity is tied up in who they love and in their relationships. I mean...what if you retained some part of you that wasnt all blissed out? I think id be mad at us too. Oh, man. I've never been so happy to be an atheist. I'm so glad that the only thing that happens to us when we die is that....we die. That sounds so. much. less. scary.
...Now I will never sleep again 'cuase I've creeped myself out.
on the upside, I can probably write a damn good story off of that feeling so....boffo?
ewewew.
First Post!
Okay!
Hello, World. This blog is going to mutate and grow slowly so bear with me. To get me started and in the habit of posting to this blog, I will be posting my ramblings and writing prompts from my apocalypses class here. Later, I'll (hopefully!) start posting my own essays, thoughts and personal philosophy here.
Hello, World. This blog is going to mutate and grow slowly so bear with me. To get me started and in the habit of posting to this blog, I will be posting my ramblings and writing prompts from my apocalypses class here. Later, I'll (hopefully!) start posting my own essays, thoughts and personal philosophy here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)