Attack of the Anthropic Principle!

I’m gonna just come out and say it—the Anthropic Principle is stupid. Really, really stupid.

The idea that the universe only has meaning if we (humans) are there to observe it is…just…stupid. There really is no better word for it—except maybe arrogant, but I think that doesn’t give the necessary implication of being, first and foremost, really, really, really stupid. If humans weren’t around, the universe would still be there. It would still function; it would still be full of strange and awesome (biblical awesome, not surfer awesome) things. Stars would burn, black holes would form, gravity and physics would still work. There would still be life in bizarre places.

We don’t have to understand the world or observe it for it to exist. That idea is just stupid. It’s the kind of thinking that makes people think that God must be great to put ears on our head in exactly the right place for glasses to sit on.

Go on. Think about that for a moment.

The world doesn’t care if it is observed or not. The universe does not need humans. I will repeat this—the universe does not need mankind. We humans just like to feel special. We want to be important. So we make shit up like the anthropic principle.

I don’t believe in fate or destiny. I look at Teri and I know how unlikely it is that we both existed and that we both met, and I know that if this hadn’t happened, then something else would have—and the universe would still not care, and ultimately, would be completely unchanged.

It’s like anything in the natural world. If you don’t believe in it…so what? That doesn’t stop anything. Everybody in the world could concentrate on disbelieving in the idea of the sun being a big ball of gas and plasma. The Sun would still be there. People can think whatever they damn well want about the universe—it doesn’t mean they are right.

Evolution doesn’t stop because morons can’t understand basic biology. The sun has never been a hawk-headed god in a boat, or a shining dude in a chariot. The moon is a big round rock—it’s never been cheese, or a woman, or a magical artifact. People’s beliefs just don’t matter all that much. Life started without us, and when we extinct ourselves, or the world changes and we go extinct—the world will still circle the Sun until the Sun turns into a red giant in 5 billion years. There will even still be life after us, even if we nuke ourselves to glass—for one thing, it’d be really difficult to make the critters at the bottom of the deepest parts of the ocean go extinct.

We aren’t that important. The universe doesn’t have to mean anything—it’s the universe. It just exists. It’s awesome that it exists. It gets to have meaning just by existing, as it is the background for everything. We are not important. There aren’t even that many of us. When we go, the universe won’t even notice.

I don’t, by-the-by, think of this as a depressing concept. I think of this as extremely uplifting and gives my own life meaning—I get to see just how awesome and vast and mysterious the universe is—and know that there is more to learn—more I can learn. I get to discover stuff, learn things I didn’t know, and when mankind goes the way everything does—the universe will still be there. Will still be awesome, will still be full of new stuff, and will still be stranger than fiction.

I guess what I’m getting at is that, maybe the Anthropic Principle should read as this: Humans are stupid and arrogant, so for things to have meaning to them, they have to see it. And even then, they will make up stupid shit about it and ignore the actual miracles in favor of the ones in their heads.

But maybe I’m just cynical.